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What does guilt accomplish?

In my head, I leap to say, “Nothing” in response to this question.

Of course, that’s not true. It accomplishes a lot. The question really is, can it ever accomplish anything good? At first glance, that answer is a clear, “No”.

As I ponder the energy of guilt, I wonder, How does guilt actually affect us? Like what does guilt do to us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually?

 

Disconnection, is what I hear the angels whisper.

Disconnection from health.

Disconnection from joy.

Disconnection from peace.

Disconnection from God.

Yes, this feels true.

Guilt shows up in different ways for people and has many forms around an infinite number of topics, ranging from family, friend or work relationships to how we treat the planet to how we care for our animals to what we eat to how much we exercise to how we “show up” every day in this game called life.

Interesting that the angels insist – whatever the reason we tell ourselves, guilt always goes back to disconnection.

Whenever we do anything that pulls us away from our true selves, when we disconnect…guilt is a likely outcome.

 

As I sit with this thought, I am reminded of certain family relationships that have a tendency to push me off center. I often end up feeling guilty that I’ve disappointed, that I haven’t lived up to my side of the family dynamic. It doesn’t matter if I know I’m following my guidance, or not. That’s – almost – irrelevant.

I get disconnected from who I really am as I fall away from my guidance and my true self.

Maybe the guilt is less about the shortfalls we believe others see in us and is more about the fact that we’ve allowed ourselves to be untrue. Maybe we’re ultimately fearful that we’ve disappointed God, because we’re acting from a place of inauthenticity.

I recently spent an intense couple of days cleaning out my mother’s apartment. She’s been in a nursing home since October and will not be living there again. My brothers and I had some quality time sifting through her stashes of cards we’d given her over the last 12 years, dozens of pairs of gloves, books she’s collected, drawers filled with photos, lids saved from prescription bottles, about 30 night gowns, and on… (Side note: dementia is a horrid disease and signs of hers appeared well before we knew she was ill. Many thoughts and feelings on this subject…for another time.)

My brothers and I are close, but like most families, we have our moments of tension. I ended the weekend feeling guilty because I needed to take a complete break and get away from the whole scene altogether and they wanted to carry on. I couldn’t do it. They were disappointed. I was following my guidance. The whole schtang should end right there, but it didn’t. I continued to think about how I was letting them down, I didn’t want them to see me as less than the perfect sister. I carried this into my sleep time and into the next day.

After my emotions had settled a bit, the angels helped me understand the underlying dynamic and I was able to approach the situation with a more compassionate heart. Compassion for all involved, including myself. Much healing followed.

 

We are humans and most of us will never rid ourselves of guilt completely. No matter how evolved we become.

Perhaps guilt’s greatest gift is to teach us. Yes, I like that. This notion has purpose. It accomplishes something good.

Dear Guilt,

When you arrive, teach me to be a better person. Help me to heal.

Thank you and Amen!

 

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