Mid-winter blessings to YOU sweet earth angels! Today’s date is a palindrome 02-22-20 🙂 and carries the energy of community (Mayan energy is 10 Kawoq).
As we sit in this lovely energy of gathering and balance, mixed with the deep, introspective vibrations of Mercury Retrograde and winter quietude, the angels are nudging me to share.
Peter and I are recently empty nesters as of January, with a magnificent wedding (our son and daughter-in-law) hosted at our house last August…all these things, now behind us.
The primary agenda now is to get back into my angel work, for which I am so excited! Yayayayay!!
AND…the angels have insisted that I delve into some healing first. Which is exactly what I’ve been doing.
Flu + Hashimoto’s Disease (an autoimmune disorder involving the thyroid) has given me lots of time to read, study and traverse my inner landscape.
In particular, I’ve been focused on how I feel called to re-engage with my angel work, answering on an even deeper level the big questions our angels are always encouraging us to ask/answer:
- What does the world need that I am destined to give?
- How can I best serve?
- What is in alignment with the evolution of my soul?
- What do I really want in my core?
- What is love? And how can I experience it fully?
These are questions we, the spiritually awake ones, are all called to answer. And it’s where our work here at AngelsTeach is largely focused, because these questions are at the core of the spiritual journey.
A lot has shifted as I’ve had space for healing and I pray it results in an evolution of AngelsTeach that benefits YOU.
Details are still unfolding and I hear the angels whisper, “this spring will be magnificent!” So please stay tuned, as much is happening beneath the surface and behind the scenes to prepare for this evolution.
Had to… the happy couple, Theron and Ayumi 🙂
In the meantime, I’m guided to share what I wrote about my recent personal healing work. It weaves in themes from a past life, victimhood and releasing layers of what’s called the “not-self” in Human Design – the behaviors, patterns and habits that are not an aspect of the true self.
If this inspires you to take a look at your own shadow aspects, then it’s served its purpose. 🙂
Lighting up my shadow
There’s a part of me that’s terrified to say what I know, what I think, what I believe. A lot of it is karmic residue from a past life when I was brutally raped. Keeping my mouth shut to stay safe…which I never really was. Silence simply lessened the brutality, the number of times I was pinned to the table. Or floor.
That life ended when my body became septic after a cart ran over my right leg, crushing it.
I’ve seen these visions. Felt them in my body. And, come to find, there’s resonance in my astrological and human design charts.
The karmic energy I brought to this incarnation played out as a little girl who was happy, but too loud. Cheerful, but too active. Joyful, but talked too much. A spark of light that needed to be dimmed.
I was paid to be quiet, literally. Paid to go outside, literally. Not by my parents, but by older brothers and their friends.
I know. I was the annoying little sister. I get it. Their intentions were to make my incessant “noise” of being go away. They never meant to scar me.
And they didn’t…because those scars already existed.
In school, I was scolded and humiliated by one teacher in particular who told me I talked too much. Excited about an upcoming skiing trip with my family, she explained that I was boastful and should be ashamed.
I was 8.
And I should shut up. My happiness and joy wasn’t something to be shared to uplift, which is what I thought would happen. It only made others feel worse.
She was going through a devastating divorce and had trouble keeping it together in the classroom. Not just with me. She never meant to scar me.
And she didn’t…because those scars already existed.
To avoid reopening those wounds – and there are many other examples – I learned that silence was my best strategy. Which led to a phase of depression and profound loneliness, until I figured out a strategy for fitting in with the popular kids. And that took years…to learn how to change who I was so I could have friends. By 9th grade I had “good” friends. Yes, they were good friendships and they were lovely girls, but I’d lost “me”. I’d shut her up for reasons already expressed. When she did boldly sneak up to the surface, I was ashamed.
My own journey to resolve this karma has been to forgive those who delivered the “shut up lessons” and to reclaim self-love for the brilliance of my inner voice. And to speak out.
I’ve also had to shed layers of who I thought I needed to be to please – oh so much pleasing!!! and compromise of my soul for my ego, my parents, my family, my friends, my neighbors, society…
The spiritual journey is always a work in progress, but some phases are more prominent than others. This recent – dare I say current – phase has been huge for me, leaving no stone unturned.
Very liberating. And I am embracing (even adoring!) the unfoldment.
We ALL have karmic residue that’s playing out in our lives. Even as you read this, there’s a foundational element of who you are, that you brought into your present body that’s shaping how you interpret this, perhaps even awakening some knowing wisdom deep within. Perhaps.
Until next time…
May you always feel the love, guidance and grace of your angels!